Insomnia: Night Owl’s Unite!

Insomnia and I are well acquainted. We have shared countless nights together, watching the clock tick ever so slowly toward the break of dawn. When I should be deep in dreamland, like the rest of humanity, I lay awake worrying obsessively about really important things: How much did I pay for gas in high school? (It was $.33 a gallon), Who was my first kiss (does kissing tag count?), or when am I due for a teeth cleaning? Those things are ever so important, and they can’t wait until morning. Perhaps I should get up and write them down, just to be safe.

Stages of Insomnia

1. Denial. I have tremendous faith that I will fall asleep any minute now. I count numerous sheep, chickens, cows and goats, until they all blend together in a smorgasbord display that would delight any king (fried chicken, anyone?). I’m not hungry, but I will plan tomorrow’s dinner, including appetizer, salad, main course, coffee and dessert. Surely I will sleep now.
2. Bargaining. I make deals with the insomniac part of me. “If I fall to sleep in the next fifteen minutes, I promise to run a marathon next Spring,” I whisper, knowing I can’t keep that promise. I can barely walk around the block and back without having to rest.
3. Acceptance. Okay, I give up. Might as well get up. I’m just wasting time here. So, I start organizing my sock drawer by color, size, and level of comfort. It’s 3 AM, and I’m debating the merits of ankle socks versus crew socks. Spoiler alert: there’s no clear winner.
4. The False Dawn. It’s the moment when I finally feel sleepy, and my bed has never looked more inviting. I snuggle in, close my eyes, and… the coyotes decide it’s the perfect time to serenade the moon. Well played, universe, well played.

The next day my friends never fail to notice the dark circles under my eyes and point out that I look tired. My reply: “Thanks, I’ve been practicing all night,” My gaping yawn could swallow the sun as I stumble to the closest chair I can find.

But fear not, fellow night owls, for we are the unsung heroes of the night. We know the best infomercials, we’ve seen every late-night talk show rerun, and we’ve perfected the art of silent tip-toing during our nightly house roaming escapades.

So here’s to us, the stargazers, the thinkers, and the dreamers who are too busy thinking to dream. May our coffee be strong, our under-eye concealer be effective, and may we eventually find the secret to joining the rest of the world in blissful slumber. Until then, we’ll always have Hulu. Sweet dreams… or not.

5 Fun Things to Do When Insomnia Strikes

Insomnia can be a real night owl’s nightmare, but who says you can’t have a little fun while you’re counting the endless sheep? Here are five hilarious ways to combat those sleepless nights:

1. Become a Culinary Critic: Raid your fridge and hold a midnight snack tasting contest. Rate each item from ‘Yum’ to ‘Why did I buy this?’ Bonus points if you create a bizarre but delicious new snack combo.
2. Sock Puppet Theater: Grab a pair of socks and put on a dramatic play for an audience of… well, yourself. Give them names, personalities, and perhaps even a love triangle. (Might need a third hand for this!) It’s a sock-drama worth staying up for!
3. DIY Fashion Show: Mix and match every piece of clothing you own to create the most ridiculous outfits. Strut down your hallway like it’s the runway at a fashion show. Who needs sleep when you can be the next trendsetter?
4. Midnight Yoga with a Twist: Try doing yoga poses but with a funny twist—narrate your session in the voice of your favorite cartoon character. Imagine Garfield guiding you through a downward dog. (Watch out Odie!)
5. The Great Indoor Quest: Create a scavenger hunt in your house. Write cryptic clues and search for treasures you’ve hidden for yourself. It’s like an escape room, but the only thing you’re trying to escape is boredom.

Remember, these are just for fun and should never replace professional advice for insomnia. If sleeplessness persists, consider consulting a healthcare provider. Now, go forth and conquer the night with laughter! 🌜✨

Check out these blog posts for more fun:

Unbelievable Self-Help Tips That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud – Ellen Says Hi

Summer Sun and Fun – Ellen Says Hi

10 Fun Ways to Beat Boredom – Ellen Says Hi