Texting Turmoil

Texting is a fundamentally sneaky form of communication, which we should despise, but it is such a boon we don’t care. We are all sneaks now. – Lewis Lapham

Me: “Are we doing lunch tomorrow?”

Me: (six hours later} I really need to know if we are doing lunch tomorrow.”

Me: (next morning) Did you get my text? Are we doing lunch today?

Me: (Later that morning) Hello?????

Me: (Lunchtime) Well, I’m guessing we won’t be doing lunch today. Thanks for your prompt response.

We have all had text conversations like this and they can be annoying. In fact, it’s frustrating and can cause problems in a relationship. I have never been a big proponent of text messaging. I think a quick call is more efficient communication. But if you feel that texting is the way to go, here is a list of potential reasons that your respondent does not respond:

They Are Busy

Let’s face it. People are busy. Working, going to school, and raising families might prevent someone from seeing the message, much less finding the time to answer it. I’m sure their intention is to answer the message as soon as they can find a minute, but sometimes they get busy and forget. Give them some time and text them again. Better yet, pick up the phone and call.

Do Not Disturb Mode

Their phone is in Do Not Disturb mode. If they are driving or at an important meeting, they may have put their phone on silent mode to avoid interruptions. They may have even forgotten to turn it back on. Before you get angry or worried, consider your options. You can either wait and hope they will check their phone soon, or you can figure out another way to get in touch with them.

Forgotten Phone

Their phone is sitting in their car, or on the table at home. This happens more often than you might think. Be patient. You will hear from them soon.

Bad Timing

Your timing could be incredibly bad. Maybe they’re in the middle of something, fighting with a spouse, or just in a terrible mood. They will text you back when the situation improves.

No Internet

It could be they have no internet. Maybe a solar flare took out their phone service, so they have no way of knowing you are trying to contact them. Internet service is fickle at best.

They Are Avoiding You

It could be they don’t wish to talk to you. Maybe you rubbed them the wrong way or ticked them off somehow. It could even be something you said in the text you sent. Go back and look at your text. Auto-correct can say some really bizarre things sometimes.

Your Text Wasn’t Sent

Did you forget to hit “send”? I know it’s happened to me. Another reason to go back and check your text again. This one’s easy to rectify.

Avoiding Conflict

Conflict is something most people want to avoid. If you’re texting about a subject they wish to avoid, this could be their way of saying “I don’t want to discuss it.” Pushing it any further could cause an argument. In this case it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie. Wait until you can delve into it face to face.

There are many reasons your text might go unnoticed. Hold off getting mad or worried. It’s true that at times you might be undervalued, or the person has no interest in pursuing communication with you. It could even be a power move on their part. This can make you feel invalidated and insulted. Pay attention to the real message they are sending, but at the same time avoid making assumptions. Follow up the texting with a visit or a phone call. Hearing their voice or seeing their facial expressions can go a long way towards more efficient communication and help prevent misunderstandings.

Check out the following posts for more inspiration. Happy Texting!

How Handwritten Letters Can Improve Communication – Ellen Says Hi

Ghosting in Online Dating – Ellen Says Hi



, ,




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.