Taking a dating hiatus
I saw something on TV the other day that I found intriguing. I know that’s hard to believe- something interesting on TV . . . but I digress. Somebody wrote a book about the merits of taking a dating hiatus. They suggested using that time productively by writing two lists. One list would enumerate what you are looking for in a mate. The second would list the qualities you would like to avoid. This will help you “get in touch with your own inner person”.
I think the idea is that you have to love yourself before you will be able to convince someone else that you are worthy of their love. Since my last disastrous relationship, I decided it was worth a try. Getting out my pen and tablet, I started my lists.
Write it Down
Now it has been months since I started my dating hiatus. I won’t bore you with my lists, which are more than likely the same as yours, and everyone else’s. We all have those lists etched in our subconscious minds like the Grand Canyon, forever and deeply engraved. Do we really need to write them down?
Of course, we are all looking for a Prince Charming of one sort or another. We’re definitely not hoping to find a lazy, self-centered and negative person to disrupt our lives. I suppose writing these things down did me some good. I will have something to look back on when I do find my Prince Charming. Then I will be able to compare and discern how he fits in to my narrowed vision of perfection. On second thought, I think it might be best to destroy those lists, on the off chance that he might find them and leave in abject despair and depression over not being perfect.
Love Yourself
As a result, I do seem to love and appreciate myself more now. This exercise has made me aware that I am a unique individual who is complete in my own right. I could choose to live out my days without a man, filling my time with work, family, and friends, writing my blog until I am 95. I would be perfectly content and fulfilled. Perhaps by then I will have accumulated more educated advice for all of the dateless and lonely men and women out there who are looking to me to perhaps save them from the fickle finger of fate.
Try it… OR Not
Needless to say, I do not suggest, condone or advise trying this dating hiatus thing. But if you are sick of dating anyway, or just want to take a break from dating, you might be interested in trying it. Maybe it will help you avoid jumping across the table in some dingy dive flailing a butter knife at your current blind date. Especially when he says something like “I thought you were getting the check.”, “What is your sign?” or my favorite, “My ex used to hold her fork just like that. ” Sob… Sometimes taking a break is a good thing . . . just because.
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